Lettuce Give Thanks

This Thanksgiving’s Facebook trend is to post a new status update every day in November stating the things for which we are Thankful.  This is a warm and fuzzy way for us to tell the world how thankful we are for our families, our homes, our health, etc.  So in my usual fashion I thought it would be fun to do this same exercise, but to state what I am REALLY REALLY thankful for.  You know, the stuff that makes you happy, but you are too embarrassed or ashamed to say?  You know what I’m talking about.  Here Goes:

Day #1:  Let’s get this started off right.  I’m thankful for “know it all” people because it brings me such joy (and gratitude) to point out to them what they do not know. 

Day #2:   I’m thankful for Ibuprofen. 

Day #3:   Ever so thankful for McDonalds French fries.  I am SO grateful for this particular comfort food that I actually thank THEM as I am driving down the road, shoving 10 at a time into my mouth.   

Day #4:  Thankful for the Hot Water Heater.

Day #5:  Thankful for the lady that keeps my hair brown (thanks Faith)

Day #6:  I cannot tell you how thankful I am for Si and Jase Robertson from Duck Dynasty.  They make me Happy Happy Happy.

Day 7:  SO VERY thankful that this maddening election is over.  I’m exhausted and couldn’t take one more day.

Day 8:  Incredibly thankful for my big flat screen TV.  Seriously, now that the election coverage is over, I’m no longer afraid to turn it on. 

Day 9:  If I lived in a remote village in Africa I might have to walk a mile and a half just for water.  As it is, I drive a mile and half to QuikTrip for any beverage I can buy.  For this I am extremely thankful. 

Day 10:  Which reminds me, thank YOU QuikTrip Cappuccino for $1.29…..Ooooohhhh Yeah!

Day 11:   I’m grateful for clothes.  Imagine how awkward our lives would be without them AND leather car seats in the 115 degree Oklahoma heat would be immensely painful. 

     This entire next week is dedicated to our brave and heroic civil servants:

Day 12:  I am very thankful for police officers when they pull over the guy that just cut in front of me and sped through the red light.  BOOM! 

Day 13:  Grateful for the Firefighters that pose for calendars and collect money on street corners over Labor Day weekend.   I mean, I’m grateful for the work they do too.

Day 14:  Thankful for all the brave military men, women and their families that sacrifice so much for my safety.  Also grateful for those tearful videos where they surprise their families when they return from deployment.  It puts things into perspective for me.

Day 15:  Thankful for Trash Collectors.  It’s a dirty job, but somebody’s got to do it.  Thankful it’s not me.

Day 16:  Believe it or not I am thankful for Politicians.  Without your example of poor morals and no integrity, how would we know what NOT to do in life?

Day 17:  Ambulance drivers.  Sadly no one wants to be with you, but when we need you we are very thankful that you are there.

     Now, on to more serious things to be thankful for.

Day 18:  I could not be more thankful for the fact that the LAST Twilight movie was made.  I no longer have to worry about Edward or Bella, whoever they are.

Day 19:  Thankful for Indian Casinos.  I don’t patronize them because I’m too cheap, but I am grateful that the Indian Nations are able to take something from the white man for a change……..his money!

Day 20:  Gratuitous Warm Fuzzy alert!  I am very thankful for my husband who makes me laugh, my kids who bring me joy, my granddaughter who helps me remember the good things in life, my extended family who keep me grounded and my friends that tolerate me even when I am utterly intolerable. 

Day 21:  Thanksgiving holiday means food, family and football.  I am so grateful for food and football……….oops and family.

Day 22:  Tryptophan is my friend and I am thankful for it. 

Day 23:  Thank you www.peopleofwalmart.com

Day 24:  Very thankful for the Wal-Mart pharmacy drive-thru, or for anything that keeps me from actually going IN to Wal-Mart.

Day 25:  I am thankful for big corporations.  You might be accused of being greedy and evil, but I am so glad that instead of having to chop wood every day to keep my house warm, you make it possible for me to simply walk in the other room and push a button. 

Day 26:  Caller ID……THANK YOU!!

Day 27:  Thankful for people that put their Christmas lights up BEFORE Thanksgiving.  (insert sarcastic tone here).  That must mean that they are super-duper devoted Christians.

Day 28:  I am very grateful for entertainment awards shows.  I mean it’s not enough that we idolize, stroke the egos of, and pay these people zillions of dollars to entertain us.  They really do deserve to receive awards every year too.

Day 29:  Have I mentioned how thankful I am for Duck Dynasty? 

Day 30:  Last but not least, I am thankful that “No shave November” is now over and all those scruffy people will be clean shaven again.  (Except for the Duck Commander clan…..you’ve got to respect the beards.)