Six Hundred Ninety-Five Thousand Three Hundred Ninety-One

695,391

This isn’t just any random number.  For one thing, it is the population of Memphis, TN.   It is the number of feet in 131 miles.  It is the number of minutes in one year and four months.  It is the cost of the new football stadium scoreboard at our local public high school.   It is the number of square kilometers in the state of Texas.  Wait…what?  Yes I said that right. It IS the cost of the new football stadium scoreboard at our local public high school.  No not the cost of the football stadium, the cost of the scoreboard.  In case you missed it, that number was $695,391.00.

There are a variety of things one could think or feel upon hearing this.  Perhaps shock, incredulity, even anger, but if your reaction was something more along the lines of pride or envy, I’ll give you a warning, this won’t be pleasant for you.   The first thing I have to come to terms with is that, being on the wrong side of a popular way of thinking immediately puts me in the category of “kook”, “closed-minded”, or the ole’ “poor thing just doesn’t get it”.  As if the fact that I disagree with the populace must mean that I am an angry, bitter radical that hates any form of fun.  But the truth is, I have had more fun with this particular subject than I’ve had in a long time.  In fact, thinking about spending nearly $700,000 on a high school field scoreboard makes me laugh till I get the hiccups.  Since there are roughly 85,000 people in this town, one can assume that there are roughly 85,000 differing opinions on the topic.  Mine is just one of those.    

There is the obvious opposition to spending $695,391.00 on a freakishly oversized metal structure with LED readouts that displas the score for all of twelve varsity and JV football home games a year.  The opposition might make the point that since the national average salary for a high school teacher is $43,000 a year, the school could employ many more teachers for that $695,391.00.  Just in case you got more math practice watching the scoreboard at football games than in your math class, it means the school could employ 16 additional high school teachers for a year.  OR every teacher in the entire district could receive a $750.00 Christmas bonus.  Maybe with that money, a program could be funded that teaches parents the importance of being fully engaged in their children’s education and not simply their extra-curricular activities.  Heck, we could hire scantily clad Hooter’s girls to strut around carrying huge number cards to display the score, for a fraction of the cost of this scoreboard……and it would make more sense.    

What is not so obvious is the subtle, slow, creeping acceptance that it is not only OK, but that it is necessary to spend this kind of money on something so insignificant.   Yes I said insignificant.  Let’s be painfully honest for a moment.  In the big picture of life, the scoreboard at your high school’s football field is not likely to be included in many of the defining moments of your life.  If it is, then you should seriously think about broadening your horizons.  Awkward!

Again, let me reiterate that it is not High School football that I have a problem with.  Actually I love it.  The screaming fans, the marching bands, the rivalry, the sense of community.  The old drunk fat guy with boundary issues sitting behind you.  The smell of pot smoke wafting up from underneath the bleachers.  These are the things that make America great.  BUT, I fear that spending $695,391.00 on a scoreboard cheapens the game, makes a mockery of it, says to the opposing team, “we can’t seem to make our team be any better, but boy howdy look at our scoreboard”.   Why not spend a measly $100,000 on a scoreboard and the other $590,000.00 on something that makes more sense, like heated stadium seats or valet parking.  I know this seems pretty absurd, but sometimes it takes the absurd to illustrate the absurd.  By my kooky, closed-minded, confused way of thinking, not much is more absurd than building a high school football scoreboard that costs (say it with me now) $695,391. 

I acknowledge the proponent’s justification that the money was donated by sponsoring corporations as well as other donations and not from tax-payer dollars.  They will also say that the football program is a big draw for other sponsors and therefore the money spent was worth it. Or that the behemoth collection of glowing lights will flash images of advertisements so large and bright that people prone to seizures will have to look away, and those advertisements will eventually pay for the scoreboard.   As soon as my wide-eyed, open-mouthed stare at their silly justifications has passed, I realize that laughter is the only logical reaction.  So there ya have it.  I may be finished with this particular rant, but this is far from over.  I will periodically be reporting in on all the things that one can do with $695,391.00 that WON’T make our town appear that we are showing out, or overcompensating, or simply saying, “mine is bigger than yours”.  Interpret that however you want.  I was talking about the scoreboard.