"It's a Festivus Miracle"

There is no way to separate my beliefs from my personality even though I wish I could when it comes to certain subjects.  Christmas is one of them.  One of the things my Atheist friends like to remind me of is that Christmas and its traditions have their origins in Pagan holidays.  This actually helps my personal dilemma because I become much more pagan than Christian this time of year. 

Oh yes, I do my part in trying to minimize the supposed “War on Christmas”, which by the way I think is as made up as the supposed political “War on Women”.  I say, “Merry Christmas” instead of “Happy Holidays,” as if this practice will convert a non-believer.   I send out cards with scripture and pictures of kings on camels, instead of funny drunk Santa falling out of his sleigh cards.  I do all this in an attempt to better secure my position as a Christian celebrating the birth of Christ which is, as all the church signs currently read, “The Reason for the Season”. 

But alas, I fail every year and fall back to my Paganistic ways.  I eat too much then feel really guilty about it.  I stress about not getting my house decorated early enough, as if there is a deadline by which I lose my decorating privileges if I miss it.  Then there is the not-so Christ-like behavior of saving money for weeks, then wracking my brains for gift ideas, getting into traffic and crowds of people to spend all that money on stuff that I could get any time of the year so that my loved ones will truly know how much I love them (while fighting the fear that if I fail in this mission, they might think I don’t love them at all).  Every year there is a conflict within myself all season. “Do I buy that cheesy Christmas sweater or not?”  I cut out every new cookie and candy recipe presented in Southern Living magazine with heartfelt intentions but rarely actual execution.  The whole time in the back of my head there lies quietly like a snake in the grass, the anxiety of the inevitable conclusion that I will have to spend time with people that I can’t stand to be around and wonder which one of them will be the one to ruin Christmas this year.  Are you starting to see why there is a battle between who I want to be, a wholly devoted follower of Christ, and who I actually become, a Christmas Nazi that asks Santa for a prescription of Xanax in my stocking on Christmas morning?

With all that said, I feel the need to share a bit of soul searching I’ve been doing this year.  It occurs to me that if I were truly concerned with being Christ-like I would be doing exactly NONE of these things.  It also occurs to me that if this insane behavior is the measure of how devoted I am to Christ, then wouldn’t that relieve all non or occasional believers from the obligation?  I mean I understand that non-Christians, occasional Christians and even Atheists want to be a part of the secular celebration that is about promoting peace on earth and goodwill toward men.  But if you didn’t feel any compulsion to worship or pray regularly, devote yourself to Christ, or avoid any talk of God except in times of crisis, wouldn’t you feel completely relieved at knowing that you didn’t HAVE to worry yourself in any of the afore mentioned “Christmas” lunacy?  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those Christians offended by everyone celebrating the birth of Christ even if they only believe in him one day a year.  On the contrary, I don’t find it in the least bit hypocritical, I am excited and moved by it.  You know, believing in Christmas miracles and all (even though I believe that God performs miracles the other 364 days of the year as well).  No I believe that ANYONE and EVERYONE should celebrate, I just don’t understand why you would put yourself through it all if you didn’t truly believe in it.  For example I don’t fast during Ramadan, even though I support my Muslim friends in doing so.  I don’t celebrate Rosh Hashana, but I am excited for my Jewish friends that do.  Are you starting to see my point?  This isn’t a pious moral statement as much as it is about common sense.  If suicide, alcoholism, drug abuse, domestic violence and prescription drug use all go up this time of year, why don’t we realize that we don’t HAVE to put ourselves under that kind of pressure?

So I am offering an alternative.  Whether you are an occasional Christian, a non-believer, or even someone that loves the Lord but hates “The Holiday Season”, (which sometimes makes me feel like a Doe during “Deer Season”), there is hope for us all.  I propose that since we are uncertain of the actual date of the birth of Christ that Christians move the celebration to some obscure day like say January 17^th at which time we can quietly and sincerely celebrate the day of Jesus birth, then change the December holiday to Festivus.  If you are not familiar with this holiday, you only have to go back to the TV show Seinfeld and George Costanza’s father, Frank, who made up the holiday as an alternative to celebrating Christmas.  “It’s a Festivus for the rest of us”, he would say.  They would put out the Festivus pole but it did not require decoration.  They would have the Festivus feast, which would begin with the annual tradition of “The Airing of Grievances” where you told everyone at the dinner table your problems with them.  The pinnacle of the holiday was in the “Feats of Strength Ceremony”.  Now THAT’S a holiday worth getting pagan about. 

By now you have sensed the sarcasm flowing throughout this post, but there are a few things that I am serious about.  One is that I am ashamed of the way I join in the chaos and swarming cockroach-like behavior of my fellow Americans (and fellow Christians) at Christmas.  There will be an earnest attempt at seeking redemption for this in the future.  My family should note that next year’s Christmas tree may resemble an aluminum pole and gifts might be in the form of warm fuzzy encouragements written on sticky notes stuck to it.  Second is the realization that as a Christian I want to take ownership of this holiday, but as a wholly devoted follower of Christ, I MUST share its meaning and ideals with everyone.  We as Christians have self-righteously espoused the notion that only true believers should have the right to celebrate and that all others are hypocritical haters that don’t deserve to even say the word Christmas.  But this is not how Jesus operated.  He not only welcomed ALL to his message of love and hope, he prayed for forgiveness for those that were involved in his crucifixion.  That’s love.  If we, as Christians, can’t share the holiday where we celebrate the birth of Jesus, even with those that don’t seem to show the same reverence that we would like them to, how can we truly show them the love that Jesus was born to show?  In other words, they (or in most cases we) may not be doing Christmas right, but we should not be judging them instead we should be SHOWING them.  Do you hear me, Christians?  Stop getting indignant about nativity scenes on courthouse lawns and start putting that time and energy into showing His love!!

I will vow to stop the Christmas insanity in my own life and do more of the love showing as well.  In the meantime, I’m going to start shopping for next year’s Festivus sweater, and try to decide if this is the year to get a real or artificial pole. 

                                                Merry Christmas and Happy Festivus!